AT LAST! THE FINAL BLOG :)

The meaningful adulthood experience is the one I’m still going through. With my parents divorcing doesn’t feel like the end of the world. I’m grown enough to be mature about it, but it’s harder when you’re a teen understanding everything that’s happening and why. Being the oldest also puts a little bit of more weight on your shoulders, because you try to be the rock for your siblings. You feel like you’re stuck in the middle and trying not to pick sides. Having a fifteen year old brother and a seven year old sister is a blessing. It’s just frustrating hearing my little sister ask for her dad, and my brother being a typical boy not showing his emotions and just keeps to himself about everything. My parents were married fifteen years, almost sixteen. They decided to separate three weeks before December the 16th, which was their anniversary. So in November is when they broke it down to us, leaving us with the worst gift ever for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It has been five months going on six, and I still can’t get used to it.  Home just isn’t the same. It’s not easy looking back and knowing our dad would come home around seven in the evening and when that time comes, the house remains silent. It’s definitely not easy knowing someone new most likely might come in the picture, even though my siblings and I know they could never be our parents. My father is actually a step dad, but he has raised me since I was two years of age. So, typically he is my father. The hardest thing to see is my brother act like nothing about this bothers him, and how he shows excitement when he gets to see our dad. Another thing is for my baby sister to act like she hates him for leaving, but her getting all happy when she actually sees him and doesn’t want to let go when it’s time to say goodbye.  

Nothing about this stands out due to the fact that divorce is everywhere and happens to half of us. It has changed me in many ways. Not that it has made me bitter, but it’s made me realize what I really want with my life. Nobody knows what is in store for you in the future. You just have to take it day by day and hope for the best and don’t live in the past. This experience has showed me it could be worse. At least my siblings and I still have both our parents physically and emotionally compared to other divorces. It has only made me a stronger person and to not take anything and anyone for granted. It has taught me the value of honesty, family, and much more. Holidays, summers, and vacations will be different due to splitting everything in half. Life will be much different from here on out. Not just me but everyone should just look for the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives.  Nothing is going to go good until all the bad is gone. “It’s only going to get worse before it gets better”-Anna Flores.

Me with my little brother and sister



Last Blog :D Well For City Dark Anyways :/

I use Greek mythology to compare, because when people hear of "myths" they automatically assume the Greeks with their constellations and stories. I compare how the Greeks used the night sky for dates, times, and guidance. They used the night skies for entertainment as well to share and teach the stories to their children to keep passing it down. 

The flow and direction I'm aiming for is how night skies were used then compared to now. I plan to give information about meanings, history, and opinions on what we as a whole should and need to do. Each generation that past from centuries ago slowly faded from nature as technology inventions were created. Some specific claims are how light pollution really does effect cities, how we lack the night sky ,and don't know much about it when we should know. 

In the essay Logos is arguing that we rely on technology way too much and don't have a sense of what a real sky is suppose to look like. We are always on the go, and never stop to enjoy natures beauty. Pathos is not as strongly expressed compared to logos, ethos, and kairos. The only emotion one would get from this essay is how light pollution really does damage our view from the night sky and how we need to change it because it would make a difference. Ethos is explaining how we know light pollution is wrong yet we still continue to do nothing about. Even though we know it is wrong we still do it for protection and the feeling of being secure. People feel safer walking to their cars, home, stores, etc. when there's more light. Kairos is pretty much expressed through out the entire essay, because we should be ashamed of how we don't know anything about it, because we're to busy going about our day. It's almost selfish to live life and not actually see life. 

The books I found have to do with the Greeks mythology. The two articles I found from Google Scholar is explaining technology from then to now and what we should do to change light pollution. The flow of the essay is pretty steady. It goes from what are myths to Greeks to Ian Cheney talking about night skies and how he grades them to the inventions that took us away from nature to light pollution blocking the nature and why we feel we don't need to know about the night skies. We feel we don't need to know what the Greeks did, because we have cell phones, clocks, and calendars to let us know everything. If we want entertainment we go to shows, movies, attractions, etc. We feel we don't need to look up at the sky and make shapes and stories up. 

 

Then To Now

 

                

Stepping Out

Ann Druyan says, "We have lived under the stars for the vast majority of our experience. Go back the last million years, how much of that time have we been inside in air-conditioned, heated, hermetically sealed little boxes? It's very recent, so, naturally, there's a kind of dislocation. ...[I]t seems to be that there's this desire to know what the universe is like. ...[T]his is the mystery that we were all born into" (qtd. in City Dark). Ann is pointing out how we know the stars are above us, we know they are there. However, if we were to go back millions of years ago, we would not make it. We rely, depend, expect, and already know what we think we want and need. We would not make it back then because we hardly see stars in our city, and don't know much about constellations for direction. We just know stars as a glowing gas dot in the sky. She's stating we live in a closed box, therefore we do not know what else is out there. We live in a "sealed little box" but  yet we want to know what the universe is like? We are all born into this mystery because none of us are from a million years ago to know more about the night sky. It's a mystery that has always been right above us literally and is slowly fading away from answers. We all have the same questions and curiosity as others. We're never going to know until we go out and find it. In so many words, we need to step out our box, and explore the beauty of what really is out there.

(City Dark)

According to Ian Cheney, "There is controversy over whether more light leads to less crime, but there is agreement that light seems to make people feel safer, almost like it's built into our genes to move close to the campfire or to the brightest city" (City Dark). This statement is my favorite, because you can really relate and compare to this one. People do feel safer when there's more light. When people are out and about at night, they feel they will not be a victim of any crime when there's light because there will be witnesses. People have it in their head, that criminals will not be willing to commit crimes in a well lit place where others can identify them. This is why they are scared of the dark outside of their secure bases. This is another reason why there are more lights in neighborhoods for an example. People get those motion lights to scare off any criminals or animals that can harm or damage the owners house or property. Business' also use more brighter lights to attract people to get their attention and make them feel safer. Can you imagine if our cities looked like the picture below? Chaos would occur. Nobody would feel safe and society is obviously picking the feeling of being safe over nature (the gorgeous stars).

(City Dark)

 I like how he uses genes, because it's like a metaphor for instinct. Ian Cheney is saying it's an instinct to run to light because it is a secure base. Light is guidance, and as human beings it is our instinct to have guidance.

The Effects of Lighting

(The City Dark)

Cheney states that "seeing the stars is like seeing the earth from space. You suddenly realize that the uniqueness and the fragility of life on the planet, which is a reminder, as well that it's more than just humans who are losing the night" (City Dark). Cheney is pointing out multiple things with the true statement. We as human beings aren't the only ones being affected by losing the night. Cheney is also including how animals suffer from losing the night. For an example with the sea turtles. When sea turtles are born, they follow the brightest star which is suppose to lead them to the sea. With all of our lights going on, it distracts the baby sea turtles into thinking that our buildings are the brightest star to them. This is why too many of them die, due to not making it to the ocean. They only have a certain amount of time to get to the water, but with our lights, makes it way more complicated for them then what it needs to be. Cheney also uses birds, and how their death rate is increasing due to too much light activity. He points out how birds uses the stars in the night sky to guide themselves, but with these bright buildings that confuse the sea turtles as well confuses the birds just as much. Another point Cheney throws out is we go about our day not even noticing the night sky. Our day is always busy and on the move that we take the night sky for granted. We don't take the time out of our busy lives just to take one minute and look up. For instance, in the movie when the boys go camping, one of the boys explains how it makes time go by much slower. He explains how you get to really relax and grasp life.



(The City Dark)

Ann Druyan states, " I worry that our lack of contact with the sky is doing something to us that's very subtle." (qtd. in City Dark). Ann is saying that we're not being involved with the sky as we should be, and that it is so delicate, it's difficult to describe or make out exactly what it is. Most of us are always on the go, busy, and in need of some sort of light. It can be so subtle, that it may even change humankind entirely. We take the night sky for granted, especially where we live. Our sky is so light polluted and high humidity, we can't see the stars. Being on the go constantly doesn't help the situation much. We know of stars and know what they look like, but soon it's like we'll forget that we can even still see them. Cities are getting bigger, which means more light. The more lights, the more light pollution is in effect. It's too sublte that we really can't pin point the main problem. The lack of contact with night skies is making us less caring, more selfish, more demanding in need of light? There are many issues that can relate to this topic, but due to being so subtle makes if difficult to get the exact reason on why or how.

(The City Dark)



Michigan Stars

Every year or so, my family and I visit more family from up north. Two years ago I finally realized Baytown's polluted dirty sky has nothing on Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan's sky. 

(From google, Not an actual photo of mine, but this is how it looked)

It was during winter, when I got to lay in the snow and just look up. It was amazing, especially because I been there plenty of times and how could I not notice it before. It wasn't anything I have seen before, well maybe because I was born and raised in Baytown (that says enough right?). Gazing at the stars made me feel   really tiny. They were just right above me. I seriously felt like I could just reach up and poke one. There were so many I couldn't really make out a pattern until I googled to find some more information. It had turned out winter evenings were the best time to view Sirius. Sirius is the brightest star in the sky. This was interesting to me, cause I was new to this. I kept researching and found out that Sirius was suppose to be easily found by finding the obvious three bright stars lined together at its belt called Orion. Two more bright stars were suppose to be at its right and left. To locate Sirius, the three belt line stars were closer to your lower left. Once you did this you could easily spot Sirius. Its obvious to spot it out right about because its gorgeous, but I just wanted to know more about it.

It was amazing just to gaze at the sky. It made me think why I didn't have this back home, but then duh I live in pollution. I started to think how people back then saw the sky. Back then when they didn't have all these cars and chemical plants farting dirt in air and sky. They must have been even more amazing, clear, and just probably felt closer. I bet the stars were so much more clear and brighter back then, people would get annoyed at how much light there was. This experience really changed my perspective. I would love to see stars like the ones I saw in Michigan anywhere and everywhere. I'm sure I'm still missing out, because there is probably a much better view some where else. We should really stop polluting, because I would love for my great grandchildren to at least see one star. It's very important to protect the night sky from pollution. If we keep at this rate, people from hundred years from now won't even know what a star is. Plus its just not healthy to inhale all this muggy air. Back then people used stars for directions, navigation, and time. Since we rely on technology too much we don't pay attention to stars. We take them for granted. What if one day everything crashes and there is no more technology. People did it back then, we could do it now but only with the help of people who know the stars. Or would we even be able to see stars clear in some places where it's more polluted than others. It sounds cheesy saying taking the stars for granted, but it's really cruel that most of us do this. Stars are a beautiful thing and can help us if we choose to actually use them. 

The Grief Poems

Grief is the mental suffering. It can be fear, mourning, heart ache, or just misery. "If you Don't" and "Snowbanks North of the House" both deal with mental suffering. 

In "If you Don't" the narrator is beyond negative. She pretty much lives in fear. "If you don't have a dog/ your neighbor will not poison it" (Thiel 1-2). She's implying if you don't have a dog, it won't die leaving you be the one to cope with it. In other words, don't put yourself in a situation where it's going to hurt you in the end. The entire poem is going from positive to negative. It's like giving a compliment, but then taking it back. The poem only gives the negative outcome of every positive thing. "the past cannot devour you/ when you stop moving for a brief moment/ Long enough to let the sorrow/ catch the joy you never feel" (28-30). This is stating if you don't feel joy, you wont feel sorrow because "there will be nothing left to heal"(33).

"Snowbanks North of the House" starts off with nature, "Those great sweeps of snow that stop suddenly six feet from the house..." (Bly1). Snow is nature that is uncontrollable and what a coincidence death is as well. She broadly puts six feet, which is often know when people pass away, they are laid to rest six feet below. "The father grieves for his son, and will not leave the room/ where the coffin stands" (10). The father lost his son and is grieving. Bly uses a unique metaphor for someone to reflect their entire life, meaning past, present, and future. The hill is the metaphor to this poem that can relate to anyone's personal experience. "And the man in the black coat turns, and goes back down the /hill. No one knows why he came, or why he turned away, and did not/ climb the hill (15-16). This is my favorite part of the poem cause any one can connect to this. This poem isn't beating around the bush. It's flat out saying that the hill (being the metaphor) is their past experience, and obviously the man in the black coat went back down the hill instead of going up. This is implying that he was scared to keep on climbing, because it could only cause more pain. 

Both these interesting poems have grieving similarities. The narrators just come about it in a different way, but     feel the same way. One just comes off negative and lives in fear, while the other is coping and lives in fear as will, being hesitant about climbing the hill. Both of these can't move forward. They only see hurt, sorrow, and misery. They both live in fear to move forward. They both can't take the risk, because they're terrified of one negative outcome compared to the hundreds of positive outcomes. These have to be my favorite poems, because we all know people like this, it's easy to relate and understand. It is like chains holding them down from moving forward. Everyone deals with grief in a different way. These two poems deal with it in fear. 

The Abortion Poem

"What I Did" written by Jim Daniels really grasped my attention. This abrupt poem is questioning. Many things are a bother. 

A parent is advising their son to assist his pregnant girlfriend to an abortion. Through out this entire poem their explaining what he needs to do. What gets under my skin, is how can a parent tell their son to do such a thing as murder. "Neither of you have health insurance or a decent job" (3-4) is their excuse. Another terrible thing this harsh parent says is "And you can't let yourself think for more than a second of the actual child you might have together"(27-30). What sane parent would tell their son this?

I could see where the parent is coming from, maybe I'm over looking their parental advice. Maybe they know the baby would suffer if their son and his girlfriend would keep the baby, but that is not the baby's fault. The parent could of talked to their son about adoption, or trying to change their son into a responsible parent. Instead they gives him the easy and inconsiderate way out. Maybe they regret this due to the fact that the poem is named "What I Did". Or maybe the parent is saying she slipped and did drugs when the pregnant girl was not suppose to, because she was a drug user, and now the baby can be affected by it. "And you've both been taking enough drugs to kill a horse" (5-6). "She's pregnant, that she slipped away the night before she's telling you she's going to the clinic in the morning" (10-15). Or this can all be a test!! Maybe the parent is testing their son to see what they're thinking. Maybe the parent is trying to force abortion, hoping that their child knows it's wrong and doesn't want to go that route. But if this isn't a test.......

Did this parent really regret this? Was this the best advise they felt they can actually give? Do they not believe that abortions is murder? Do they not have a heart? How can a caring parent demand abortion? Were they against children being born out of wedlock? Do they really think abortion is the best option???? So many unanswered questions I would love to know. I was raised growing up knowing that this is murder. I can see where the narrator is coming from but I disagree with them. 

Another fact that maybe the parent is advising their son to murder is that their son wasn't actually with the baby's suppose-to-be mother. "You're going to drive you Plymouth Satellite all night your head jangling like the coins you use to call her from rest stops to make sure she'll wait wait til you get there" (17-23). Maybe the  parent knows it was nothing serious, so they aren't responsible for a serious situation. 

Whether any situation that you put yourself in, you know the consequences. This parent should have not gave this talk to their son. No matter what reason. Obviously the parent has poor parental skills, not just for commanding murder, but for not having a civil conversation about what their son wanted to do. I know I shouldn't judge, because I do not know the real reason as to why the parent told their son this, but obviously the son wanted the best advise. Instead this parent chose for him. And obviously they felt that was the best option, even though they might regret this talk. This poem really gets you thinking, and I'm still hoping this was a test for their son, because a parent should never say "You lick your fingers, you count out your half"(47-48).